Tuesday, September 30, 2008

New Job Titles for Mommy & Daddy


Rick and I came to the realization this weekend that our world now revolves around Ada. Spending 2 days with both sets of grandparents made that very clear. Our new job titles include...


Travel Coordinator

Secure seating (car seat mainly), pack and load luggage, maintain vehicles, confirm flights, pack plenty of necessities, provide snacks, drive, stop for frequent diaper changes and feedings, shade eyes from the sun, maintain proper interior temperature, play baby-friendly music, avoid bumps in the road, and shut up if and when baby wants to nap en route. Guard the car and don't move baby once final destination has been reached if baby is resting.

(Rick is the official Chauffeur but I fill in when he isn't available or is under the influence.)


Wardrobe Crew/Fashion Advisor

Provide multiple wardrobe changes depending on temperature, mood, messiness of eating, change in event, etc. Must remember to include tops, bottoms, hats, shoes, socks, diapers, bibs, and additional coordinating accessories. Wash, dry, fold, hang and iron wardrobe as necessary. Maintain collection of seasonal items in the proper sizes and secure collection for next season and size anticipating needs (all while avoiding the inconsistent brand labeling system that doesn't really correlate to what size baby actually is.)


Personal Assistant/Event Planner

Make sure Grandparents clear calendars to allow for plenty of playtime, cuddles, meals.

Ensure that cousin Ana is available for play dates.

Arrange for various pets to let baby eat their fur, pull their ears and attempt to ride them without malicious retaliation.

Organize social calendar to maximize party opportunities. Purchase gifts for said events, wrap them appropriately and sign cards with baby's name.

Schedule daily walks and outdoor activities for fresh air and exercise.

Have swings, exersaucers and playpens available at all potential locations.

Plan parties, birthday celebrations, and neighborhood play dates.


Entertainer

Lug plenty of toys everywhere we go. Make them dance, sing and move on command. Don't forget teething toys, books, music, blankets, etc. When that all fails, always have a back up bottle ready for immediate consumption.


Photographer/Paparazzi

Always carry at least one camera. Supply plenty of memory cards. Charge batteries frequently. Maintain a secondary camera as backup. And prepare to take video as needed.


Historian

Maintain records of "Firsts". Document special events and daily milestones through scrapbooks.


Communications Director

Maintain database of friends, family, babysitters, and neighbors. Provide monthly photo updates on growth and development and record major milestone achievements.


Doctor/Pharmacist/Butt Wiper

Administer various drugs for teething, colds, sinus infections, etc. Aspirate nose when stuffed up, wipe butt when poopy, pump legs up and down when gasey.


Salon and Spa Technician

Administer bubble bath, maintain proper water temperature, towel dry all parts, apply post bath lotion, brush hair. Give massage treatments, routine manicures and pedicures.


Personal Chef

Prepare all meals (Mom's in charge of milk, of course). Maintain supply. Provide a variety of fruits, grains, vegetables, and desserts. Keep bottles clean and sanitized. Wash bowls, spoons and sippy cups after every use. Provide a steady supply of teething biscuits.


Or taking one from HBO... we're planning to have t-shirts made that simply read...


Ada's Entourage

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